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BAD DAUGHTER

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March Madness

I was a young twentysomething working in Washington DC at the second professional job I'd ever had. I was the youngest person in the...

Sappy Sentiment

When my son was young, I used to get incredibly sappy about the "lasts." So many parents celebrate the "firsts" - steps, words, the solo...

Man of Many Traits

It's the wee hours of the morning, and I'm sitting in a hard plastic chair in an examination room at the emergency department at the...

Snow Games

Once when I was in elementary or middle school, I got off the school bus and walked the little lane to get to my house. The closer I got...

The Upside

While dementia can be beastly for caregivers, it has an upside, a silver lining that can be a stunning gift: they don't remember....

Hello Patriarchy

A common story among the families of older, white dementia sufferers is how their beloved parent/grandparent became racist as their...

Notes from Year One

The first year of living with my parents has been challenging, transforming, shaming, hella frustrating, and yet somehow fantastic too....

A Snapshot

On a recent 90 degree day when the humidity was probably around the same number, I ran some errands, picked up some things I'd ordered,...

Father's Day

Like every kid in America, I used to ask my parents why there was a Mother's Day and Father's Day but not a Children's Day, and like all...

The Whistling

My father is always always always whistling. Always. He's always been a whistler. His father was a musician, and he plays piano and...

Fear and Dementia

By far the most frustrating part for me of dealing with my father's dementia is the fear that he feels. I've written before about his...

The Sheltering Sky

While I was out enjoying this view tonight, my parents were inside with the shades drawn, completely missing it. It reminded me of a book...

Blessings and Balm

I had been walking around like a raw nerve, hurt and frustrated and feeling a bit hopeless. Caring for my father with dementia was...

The Joke's On Me

My path to becoming a functional adult has required loads of work. Without dredging up the whole experience (once was enough, thank you),...

March 2, 2021

Today is the day to exhale, a day that I have been unknowingly awaiting for almost a year. Both of my parents have received their second...

Parents vs Partners

We expect our parents to decline. Most of us have seen or will see our own parents lose their parents, their friends, their siblings....

Raving and Raging

The house that my parents and I bought in 2020 faces the road, but sits in front of acres of forest. They have the master suite, which...

F@*# 2020, Buck 2021

Buck is a 6-year old black lab/German shepherd mix that I adopted in May of 2020. One of my besties had tagged me in a social media post...

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